‘Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free,
‘Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
‘Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
– Shaker hymn, Simple Gifts
I was delighted to find Judy Ringer’s new CD, Simple Gifts: Making the [...]

My mother died during an asthma attack when I was in my mid-twenties. I grieved and grieved for the loss of both my mother and my best friend. And when I was diagnosed with adult-onset asthma a few years later, I took it very seriously.
That’s when I discovered visualizations and their power to change my [...]

What does it take to change your own or an employee’s usual behavior pattern in conflict situations?
More than anything it takes the motivation to learn and the commitment to practice that learning until it’s a new habit of mind.
I have the good fortune of hearing Clayton Christensen speak this weekend at Southern New Hampshire University’s [...]

One of the greatest gifts good mediators bring to the conflict resolution table is a non-anxious presence, an inner calm in the face of difficulty. And it’s one of those tools in the mediator’s toolkit that you can adopt for yourself.
Mediators learn how to bring peace into the room with a non-anxious presence by dealing [...]

Recent research out of the University of Colorado at Boulder suggests that the degree of physical warmth you feel influences the degree of psychological warmth you experience. Warming up hands and body may just help promote interpersonal warmth.
And while there’s much more to the success of a difficult conversation than the temperature of your hands [...]

Whenever I see my doctor, she asks me if I’m still mediating and conflict coaching. “Yes!” I reply with zest, knowing what’s coming next. “How’s your stress level?” she asks, looking a little worried on my behalf.
I understand that most normal people consider the act of stepping into the middle of other people’s conflicts a [...]

In computer science, garbage in, garbage out (or GIGO) refers to the notion that faulty input yields erroneous output.
GIGO is true in conflict and resolution, too. For instance:
Garbage in: Diagnosis of their personality flaws or psychological condition (e.g., they’re just rude, passive-aggressive, manipulative, etc.).
Garbage out: Argument focuses on what’s wrong with them and how to [...]