Back in the days when I was a college dean I ran into a gatekeeping problem with the executive assistant of a vice president I worked with frequently. Donna was a zealous gatekeeper and the first response was a routine “no” anytime I asked if the VP was available for a few minutes.
One day, I [...]

If you could reboot your marriage, would you do it? Would you clean out the memory leaks, glitches and bugs so that the joyful stuff could shine even more brightly?
Rod and I are in our 20th year together and we’ve decided to do just that, looking ahead to the next twenty.
And after much thought and [...]

I love my husband and we’re celebrating 20 years together next month by re-creating our first four dates in Burlington, VT (his idea, still the romantic!). But I doubt very much I could work with him every day – or he with me. Some marriages are better when those in them find their vocational joy [...]

Taming your inner conflict junkie is Habit 4 of the 7 Habits of Conflict Zen.
What is a conflict junkie?
I made up the term conflict junkie. I think of a conflict junkie as someone who’s addicted to argument. Not just a good debater, but someone for whom arguing has become a habit in interacting with others. [...]

Years ago, I had a disagreement with one of my mediation faculty colleagues. No, disagreement is too mild a word. It was an argument, a teeth-gritting, pulse-popping thriller of a clash. It wasn’t loud, but it was vehement.
About what? Who knows. That’s not the memory that was worth tucking away.
The memory that was worth tucking [...]

What’s the “usual error”? Assuming other people are just like you. It’s called The Usual Error because it’s a common mistake and a pitfall in communication and conflict resolution.
I’m a fan of The Usual Error blog – where I first heard the term – because its authors, Pace and Kyeli, are so real. Real in [...]

Keeping your cool in conflict conversation is Habit 3 of the 7 Habits of Conflict Zen.
When you keep your cool you:
Have easier access to your good interpersonal and communications skills when you need them most. You already have many of the conflict resolution skills needed. But are you able to tap into them when you’re [...]