A father, a son, a story of fury and forgiveness

What happens when you forgive someone?

Sometimes you unlock old memories of their goodness. Goodness that’s been overshadowed by their transgressions, but still exists.

And sometimes, you unlock your own anger and resentment in the process.

Calvin Sandborn, a professor of environmental law and the legal director of the University of Victoria Environmental Law Clinic, sent me a story of his from Canada’s National Post. The Dark Side of Dad, printed just before Father’s Day, begins, [Read more]

4th of july declaration of interdependence

I created this a while back and the 4th of July holiday seems like the right time to share it again, particularly since so many of you are new readers (thank you!).

Here’s my Declaration of Interpendence:

(Can’t see the video in your feed reader or email? Click here to go to My Declaration of Interdependence.)

Happy holiday weekend for those of you here in the U.S.

Everyone wants happiness and doesn’t want suffering

“Everyone wants happiness and doesn’t want suffering.”

I’m amused about the way profound thoughts can be so deceptively simple at first blush. As an executive coach and conflict consultant, I love the elegant simplicity.

Of course, I said to myself as I read Jeffrey Hopkins words, of course. Then I began to muse about the implications of his simple statement and the depths made themselves visible.

Buddhist scholar and author Jeffrey Hopkins served for a decade as chief interpreter for the Dalai Lama. He’s professor emeritus of Tibetan and Buddhist studies at the University of Virginia and his newest book, A Truthful Heart, is presently gracing my nightstand. [Read more]

Healthy relationships, moment by moment

So much conflict is about what happened and the pain of the past. So much workplace conflict resolution is about what will happen from here forward. It’s unfortunate that we so highly value the past and the future at the expense of the present.

The present moment is, after all, the only time over which we truly have dominion. And attending to the richness of the present moment means we don’t miss the gems that build healthy business partnerships and professional relationships at work.

Folk singer and all-around-wonderful-human Christine Kane tells this story of Present Moment Awareness: [Read more]

How to handle difficult people

There’s a single, powerful and highly effective tool for managing difficult clients (or employees, colleagues and bosses for that matter). For managing difficult people of all ilks, actually.

It’s a deceptively simple tool at first blush, perhaps so simple that you may be tempted to scoff at it. Dismiss it, even. It’s harder to use than it looks, because it takes commitment to master. Once mastered, though, it will be freely at your disposal and you’ll find that it can unlock even the most challenging conversations with difficult people at work. It’s a tool skilled mediators use because we know its power.

Here’s what it takes to master it. Are you up to the challenge? [Read more]

Friday fare: how to save your relationship

A bit of light Friday Fare for you…

Many thanks to Savage Chickens creator Doug Savage for permission to reprint his cartoon. You can get your own daily dose of the chickens via Doug’s blog.

Happy weekend,

This Is What Happens to People Who Live with Mediators

We bought a new stove last week. It has a lot of electronic bells and whistles. Our old stove, ca. 1974 (I know, I know), could never have dreamed of such gadgetry.

The old stove’s timer emitted a honking blast of noise that just kept going until one of us ran into the kitchen, hands over our ears, to turn it off. The new stove’s timer beeps in a pretty little way when the time is up. If we don’t go in and press the keypad, it’ll beep again in about a minute. Makes sense…wouldn’t want to burn the dog biscuits because we missed one beep. [Read more]

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