It’s been a dog-focused kind of month in our home, with our two geriatric canine companions showing their age in ways that are making us a bit sad. Because they’re on my mind, here I am again with a dog story. Thanks for bearing with me…and the prize, when you keep reading, is a handy little tip for more effective conflict resolution.

Luigi is our little guy in his middle teen years.

Luigi was a finicky eater from the start of his life with us. Some days, he turned his nose up at his dog food entirely, even with the premium foods we offered. He’d sniff his food and walk away. He also earned the nickname Vomitar early on, due to his penchant for the periodic little bile upchucks that we came to understand were part of Life with Lu.

Then, about five years ago, he developed partial seizures. Trips down to Tufts’ Foster Hospital for Small Animals and several shockingly pricey MRIs later, he was prescribed potassium bromide to control the unexplained events. Suddenly our lively, mountain-climbing little dog was a groggy, fattening pile of snoring fur. And while the seizures were a bit more infrequent, they were by no means gone.

After a year of drugging him into a stupor, we decided to try something drastic: [Read more...]

Some of you know I’m a dog lover and that Rod and I share our home life with a giant canine named Hugo and a wee guy, Luigi. And two cats.

Hugo is a mutt, Golden Retriever and Newfoundland. A couple of weeks ago, he suffered his third idiopathic vestibular incident. It’s a mystifying syndrome without a clear cause, but just picture a dog who looks like he’s had a stroke and you’ll get the right idea: stumbling in circles because legs on one side have stopped working, drooling out of one side of his mouth (instead of both sides for a change!), temporarily blind in one eye, bouncing off inanimate objects he doesn’t see on that side.

The first time it happened it was terrifying. By the third time, we knew it for what it is. Most vestibular incidents resolve in a few hours to a few days. This time it took over two weeks.

Ok, so you’ve got the image of a giant black dog who looks like he’s had a stroke. Now add the image of [Read more...]

So, you want to get better at your difficult conversations at work or home. Maybe some new conflict management tools will make a difference, right?

Not quite. Formulas, recipes and active listening will only get you so far. I generally believe that most people I meet in my workshops and conflict management coaching already have all or many of the good skills they need to manage conflict well. It’s not so much about building better skills. As with all tools, it’s about what you do with them…how you put them to work.

A few years ago, my Interpersonal Conflict class was just getting underway when Kate, very animated as she came in, raised her hand. “Can I tell a quick story about something that happened to me this morning? I promise it’s relevant to class!” Well, that got my and the students’ attention, particularly since Kate was so electric from the “aha” moment she was about to describe. [Read more...]