Giving advice is a problem-solving crutch
October 30, 2006
I recently finished a stint co-teaching a basic mediation workshop I deliver about four times a year to people from many different backgrounds. In this most recent workshop, we had a social worker, several attorneys, a nurse practitioner, a teacher, a builder, two human resources directors, a college student, a human development trainer, and a long-retired World War II vet, among others. All were there because they had an interest in either becoming mediators or integrating dispute resolution skills into their professional work in some way.
On the first evening of the training, my co-trainer, Alice, and I, tell participants we really have just one rule: No advice giving. [Read more]
Conflict? What Conflict?
October 25, 2006
I’m on my way to Philadelphia for the annual national conference of the Association for Conflict Resolution, where I’m presenting a workshop on practice-building for other mediators. I stopped by my big sister’s house on the first leg of my trip and we had one of those conversations that would make Rod’s head spin. Pressed for time before I had to hit the road again, we were talking fast and in layers, finishing each other’s sentences and overlapping sentences. It was great.
We talked briefly about my upcoming workshop and pondered why there’s a need for mediators to have a practice-building workshop. That lead to a conversation about the public’s lack of familiarity with mediation, confusion about the difference between mediation and arbitration, and the tendency for people to wait until they’re thinking “lawyer” to consider mediation. And then my sister added, “Half the people in a conflict don’t think they’re in a conflict and so would never think to hire a mediator.” [Read more]
Today Is Conflict Resolution Day
October 19, 2006
Today is Conflict Resolution Day, recognized internationally on the third Thursday in October.
What will you do in the spirit of the day? Here are some ideas: [Read more]
How to Win an Argument, Part 3: Know Your Real Goals
October 18, 2006
Ultimately, the way to win an argument is to be clear about your definition of “win” and ensure that definition is consistent with your long-term goals. Ask yourself these questions:
- How am I defining “win”?
- Does that definition serve my long-term goals with this person?
- Should I reconsider my definition to better meet my long-term goals?
Coachamatic: Some Things Are Just Damn Fun
October 17, 2006
Question: Where can you find 30 lifestyle and business coaches from around the globe, a glossy red toolbox of information, and the inimitable Andy Wibbels all in one place?
Answer: Coachamatic, that’s where!
Coachamatic is the brainchild of Andy Wibbels, award-winning blogger and best-selling author of Blogwild!: A Guide for Small Business Blogging. A few months ago Andy gathered together 30 of us [Read more]
How to Win an Argument, Part 2: Mr Bean Drives a Hard Bargain
October 16, 2006
Mr Bean drives a hard bargain. Not that Mr Bean, our Mr Bean, aka Luigi, our 9-lb. shih tzu.
This morning I rounded up the dogs for their morning jaunt up our long driveway through the woods. Hugo charged outside as usual, nose on the ground, figuring out what creatures had been in the yard overnight.
Luigi stood in front of the garage and refused to budge. Just stared at me. I called to him again. Nada. Except for one slight movement…he looked me in the eye, then slid his eyes very deliberately to the left. [Read more]
And Speaking of Ships…
October 12, 2006
How to Win an Argument, Part 2 is coming. But I got sidetracked by the whole ship thing in How to Win an Argument, Part 1.
Rod and I had a wee tiff the other day. We got a little snarky with one another over…well, I can’t recall what it was over. That says something, doesn’t it? Hopefully not about premature senior moments.
Rod marched down to his office. I sat on the couch and stared out at the remnants of fall foliage in New Hampshire. I glanced down and saw our cat Kimball, also called Glenda, the Good Witch of the North. I decided to be Good Tammy.
