Dear RadioShack: Firing People by Email Is a Failure of Relationship

CNN and USA Today are reporting that RadioShack just fired 450 employees…by email.

The workforce reduction notification is currently in progress…Unfortunately your position is one that has been eliminated.

According to CNN, a RadioShack spokesperson said electronic notification was “quicker.” Though employees were notified in advance (how, by email?) that layoff notices would be delivered electronically, this has got to be one of the more crass firings we’ll remember.

Can you imagine the halls of RadioShack’s corporate headquarters, where most of the layoffs occurred, about 5 minutes after 450 people heard the little “ding” of an arriving email?

So here’s my open letter to RadioShack:

[Read more]

Changing Your Difficult Conversations Means Doing the Unexpected

Several years ago, I was teaching one of my most beloved courses, Interpersonal Conflict, which I wrote about in a series of posts earlier this summer. In the course, my mediation grad students are asked to confront and improve their own “conflict stuff” as part of learning to be better mediators.

One day that particular term, about midway through, Jay raised his hand at the start of class. “You’re ruining my life,” he said.

He doesn’t look too upset, I thought, but that sounds bad. “Want to say some more about that, Jay?” I asked.

[Read more]

Eat and Grow to Be a Nurse

Before you read this post, please, please, please understand: If you are or were a nurse, love or loved a nurse, were once saved by a nurse, have a nurse in your family or neighborhood, or a best friend who is a nurse…this is not a commentary about nurses.

This is a commentary on the women and men who [Read more]

Talking to a Spouse or Partner: Comforting Noises Make a Difference

A decade ago when I was a college dean, I’d come home at the end of very long days and my guy Rod would ask, “How was your day?”

My days as a dean were rather like giant fire extinguisher days. In fact, when I left the job to found my conflict management practice, my staff gave me a toy fire extinguisher to remember the job. As though I could ever really forget.

So, when R would ask about my day, I’d spend a few minutes running through the list of fire extinguisher moments. It was usually a fairly lengthy list. Do you know the sound effect that represents the teacher’s voice in Charlie Brown television specials? That’s pretty much how I sounded.

R would listen patiently and then begin to try to solve my problems for me. “Have you tried…?” “What if you tried…?” “How about doing this…”

In rather too few moments, we’d be having an annoying little fire extinguisher moment of our own. “I don’t need you to solve these problems for me. I think I and my staff are fully capable, thank you very much.”

One day, R, wise man that he is, said, “Ok. I’m going to stop offering advice unless you ask for it. What do you want from me instead?”

That’s why I’m with this man. He knows how to ask the right question. I considered for a moment, then responded, “I want comforting noises.”

To this day, as I debrief my day (which is usually full of so many confidential mediating or coaching things I can’t tell him much anymore), R leans on the kitchen counter and makes noises. “Oooh…” “Ah!” “Oh boy.” “Uh oh.” “Hmmm.”

All the sympathy, empathy and attention, none of the annoying junk.

What a difference comforting noises make,

Copyright © 2006 by Tammy Lenski. All rights reserved.

Nibble, Bogey, Good Cop, Bad Cop: Ready for Some Hardball?

Would you recognize the good cop/bad cop tactic if you saw it in a negotiation? Would you know a bogey if you saw one? What about a nibble?

Last month, I wrote about negotiating strategically and suggested that one key is to recognize and neutralize hardball negotiation tactics when you see them. The above tactics are some of the most common and unfortunately, can really alienate the person on whom they’re used. Here’s a brief description of each and ways to neutralize them. [Read more]

Women’s Equality Day: 86 Years and Still in the Making

Eighty-six years ago this week, the 19th Amendment gave women the right to vote. How consistently do you exercise the right that women of our grandmothers’ and great-grandmothers’ generations were beaten and imprisoned to achieve for you?

If you read my writing and musings, I assume you have an interest in women’s voices, building relationship and community, and negotiating effectively. Yet if you’re not [Read more]

Conflict Hack: Silence Does Not Equal Yes

Have you ever been in a meeting where the chair asked something like, "Does that plan sound ok to everyone?" Perhaps there was a brief pause, an assenting remark or two, a couple of nods and silence from the rest. "All right, then it’s a go," the chair may have said then.

Silence does not mean "Yes, I agree." Silence can mean: I’m still thinking about it. I may agree but am not sure yet. Yes, I agree. No, I don’t agree but I’m not going to say it out loud here. No, I don’t agree but I’ll never admit to it.

If you’re trying to make a wise and effective decision in a group, avoid the "assumed yes" trap. When there’s silence, ask those folks what their silence means. Don’t challenge, invite.

Silence usually means I’m thinking,

Copyright © 2006 by Tammy Lenski. All rights reserved.

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