The Impact of Conflict at Home

What’s your favorite childhood memory? Stop reading. Think about it for a couple of minutes…allow yourself the trip. What memories do you cherish?

Now fast-forward to the future. If you’re the parent of a young child, ask yourself the question my pal Jill Urbane (aka The Mentor Mom) asked recently in her blog post Then and Now:

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Women Bloggers Are Everywhere

I found myself in good company today. Mike Sansone, in his post BlogHer: Where the Women Bloggers Are, mentioned that he’s puzzled by the question, “where are all the women bloggers?”

I’ve watched the question considered on other blogs and seen plenty of debate about why there seem to be fewer women bloggers. Instead of inviting more analysis on the question, Mike compiled a cool list of women bloggers he reads, including yours truly.

I’m humbled to be in the list because it includes women bloggers I look up to and introduces me to some fantastic new faces (new to me, anyway). Want to find other interesting women writing about a range of compelling topics? Head on over to Mike’s post for a terrific starting point in your search.

Thanks, Mike,

women bloggers

Stepping Up to Difficult Conversations: What My Grad Students Would Tell You

This post is a continuation of Stepping Up to Difficult Conversations: Know Your Strongest Hopes.

I wanted to know what my students would tell others about the act of stepping up to a difficult conversation, now that they had, albeit by force of assignment, completed their own. Here’s what they told me: [Read more]

Stepping Up to Difficult Conversations: Know Your Strongest Hopes

This post is a continuation of Stepping Up to Difficult Conversations: Fear Is Normal.

With the fears lingering in the air, I asked students their greatest hopes going into their difficult conversations. Hope can calm fear. Their hopes were simple and straightforward, neither grandiose nor insignificant:

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Stepping Up to Difficult Conversations: Fear Is Normal

This post is a continuation of Stepping Up to Difficult Conversations: What My Grad Students Taught Me. What I’m about to write will make more sense if you read that first!

I asked my grad students what their greatest fears were before having the difficult conversations they’d chosen. They named the kinds of fears you and I would probably name, too: [Read more]

Stepping Up to Difficult Conversations: What My Grad Students Taught Me

In Interpersonal Conflict, my all-time favorite course to teach, there is an assignment that often strikes fear in the hearts of my students. I try not to relish their fear too much.

These are adult students whose ages typically range from 30-60, all studying for a master’s degree in mediation and applied conflict studies. I announce the assignment on the first day of class and it’s due on the last day. In the classes in between, there are frequent questions about the assignment, worries expressed, support and coaching sought.

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Conflict Avoidance Reason 3: I Don’t Want to Seem Aggressive

Some of us avoid stepping up to the important conversations, particularly at work or when we’re new to a group, because we want others to view us as nice. Or gentle. Or easygoing. Or ____ (fill in the blank with whatever view you want people to have of you).

Women, more frequently than men, tell me they worry that speaking up at work will cause them to be tagged as "too aggressive." Rarely a shrinking violet myself, I’ve had a supervisory man or two tell me I’m on the assertive end of the continuum (hmm…as I thought about it, I realized I can’t recall a single woman ever saying that to me).

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