Secret to a Happy Marriage: The Shamu Maneuver
June 26, 2006 ·
My husband emailed me a link to a hilarious New York Times article, What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage. He had just one sentence in his accompanying note.
It’s worth reading the article all the way through, both for the humor and the pretty decent take-aways on changing behavior, whining, positive reinforcement and happier relationships. A couple of choice snippets, both of which made me giggle aloud in the context of the article:
“The central lesson I learned from exotic animal trainers is that I should reward behavior I like and ignore behavior I don’t. After all, you don’t get a sea lion to balance a ball on the end of its nose by nagging. The same goes for the American husband…”
“It took a lot of discipline to maintain my calm, but results were immediate and stunning. His temper fell far shy of its usual pitch and then waned like a fast-moving storm. I felt as if I should throw him a mackerel.”
And lest you think the article is all about the stereotypical wife wanting to change the stereotypical husband, it’s not.
And my husband’s single sentence in the email? He was downright gleeful: Now that one woman has revealed this tactic, husbands everywhere will be free from the “Shamu maneuver.”
That’s what he thinks. Note to self: Must try out on Rod. Second note to self: Must assume Rod is trying out on me.
[Update: To see a follow-up post, please visit The Shamu Maneuver Causes a Stir.]
Cheers,
It’s all about the emergence female-led relationships. Simply put, women are taking more control - and lovingly leading their relationships with husbands and boyfriends. It’s a positive and exciting change - one long overdue.
Love the article Tammy! I laughed so hard as I read it as I realized I have been using this technique on my husband for nearly eight years! One of my good friends once described men as “primitive” adding they are all about food, sleep and pleasure. Given that, I can see why L.R.S. works. Keep up the great work and I love your site
Jill, I can’t resist asking…how has it worked? And what does your husband think of the Shamu Maneuver?
I don’t think he knew it was a manuever until I let that cat out of the bag when I had him read the article! Not sure how he feels about a technique that is used on animals being used on him. I’ll report back and adaptive behaviors that develop as a result of his new insight. I must say for the record that the Shamu manuever has worked quite well over the course of our 13 year marriage! Keep up the good work!