7 simple hacks guaranteed to improve your meetings

When important matters and decisions are on the table for discussion, conversation can get a little tricky and difficult sometimes.

You can prevent the conversation from getting tangled and tripped up by common pitfalls with a little care in language choice and a few simple strategies for staying on track and making clear decisions.

I’ve compiled my 7 simplest meeting and conflict resolution hacks to help:

1. When you’ve got a problem to solve, don’t waste valuable face-to-face time. Learn why blamestorming is a waste.
2. Avoid a common decision-making mistake with silence does not equal yes.
3. Don’t fall into the trap of this guaranteed disagreement sidetracker: always, never.
4. When things get a bit hot under the collar, make sure you’re taking the right steps to really cool them down again.
5. Learn why the phrase I hear you is one to avoid and what to say instead.
6. Understand why “and” can be a much better word than “but” in conflict situations: Yes, but…
7. Don’t fear that truly effective listening will inadvertently convey that you agree. Acknowledging is different than agreeing.

What are your favorite meeting and conflict hacks?

Conflict zen news for june 2008

May and June have been a whirlwind, between clients, keynote speeches, and conference presentations. I love months like this one!

Since readers often ask me for examples of how I help clients, here are some samples from the past month: I worked with a smart and committed group of law partners seeking to create a more cohesive future for their firm; a coaching client who wants to get more courageous in conflict with her male executive colleagues; the HR director of a multi-site corporation looking for advising on tricky conflicts in her organization; the New Hampshire Conflict Resolution Association as the speaker for their annual dinner; and the Women’s Leadership Summit, where 600 women from around New England came together and for whom I was fortunate to teach two sold out workshops to groups of very cool women.

And a new dog, [Read more]

7 top reasons to subscribe to conflict zen

If you’re serious about your personal and professional relationships, and your career advancement, Conflict Zen offers you dividends beyond a good read with your morning coffee.

Conflict Zen offers you a way to shape your life. A way to talk through the things that matter most to you, at home and work. A mindset and heartset that is transformative and freeing.

Want seven more important reasons to subscribe? Then consider these: [Read more]

A compilation of conflict resolution quotations

I’ve begun my mediation and conflict resolution classes and trainings for years with a relevant conflict resolution quotation from someone famous or particularly astute. So, I get a lot of requests from former students, training participants and others that begin with, “What was that great quote you shared the other day…?”

Now I’ve put my small database of conflict resolution, communications, problem solving and peace quotes in a single place here at Conflict Zen. I’ll update it periodically.

Conflict Resolution Quotations

What’s your favorite conflict resolution quotation?

The moment you choose to fight: Do you recognize it?

In every argument, there’s a moment when you choose to fight. It may not seem a choice, because the moment is fleeting and the decision may not be a conscious one.

But choose you still do. I call such moments “choice points,” because with awareness, you can notice them and make a thoughtful choice about how to proceed. Unlike, for instance, the doctor in the following story.

My friend and fellow mediator, Vickie Pynchon, has been blogging the experience of her father’s end of life in an emotionally wrenching and deeply loving series of posts, Negotiating Life’s End. The following excerpt, from Part Two, begins with Vickie’s learning that her dad has been taken to the hospital. She rushes there too. [Read more]